Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Good and The Bad

It's interesting how there is almost always a balance in life. It's so rarely black or white... it's usually a shade of gray that darkens or lightens as time goes on.

When I started spotting yesterday I immediately called my OB and they set up an appointment for me to come in and get checked out. They did an internal ultrasound, found the heartbeat, checked out everything else (ovaries, positioning, etc.), and it was determined that, for the moment, things were ok.

Goji's heartbeat is at 130, which she said is just fine. She also told me that, for nine weeks, he looks pretty small... so they are going to assume that since I'm sort of hazy on the date of my last period, I'm only 7 weeks along.

I keep telling myself that the good news is more important than the bad news. I even made a list:

Good News:
1. Goji is ok
2. Heart is beating at a good rate
3. No ectopic pregnancy worry (I'd been having pains in my side)
4. I got an ultrasound picture to hang on my fridge!
5. Even though I'm still spotting, it is still very light and still a light brown color.

Bad News:
1. Still spotting
2. They pushed me back 2 weeks so I'm now 5 weeks away from being out of my first trimester. I'm sure I'll worry throughout the pregnancy (because that is my nature), but I will worry a lot LESS once I'm out of first tri.

I'm grateful that everything is alright for the moment... but I would really like this spotting to go away. I know it can be harmless in some cases, but it scares the absolute shit out of me.


KiraAJ said...

easier said then done i know but try and relax :) glad there was a heartbeat sweetie.

NINA said...

Try and keep thinking of the good things! There's a lot to be happy about right now! And also, can you rest? maybe take a days off work and just lay around at home, that will probably stop the spotting.

Krista said...

Did they not measure him at your first appointment the other day to gauge how far along you are?

Even if you knew exactly when your period started, you could have ovulated extremely late. There have been pregnancies stemmed from ovulation on day 52 of a cycle, so I wouldn't hold too much credibility with an EDD based on your last period.

did they set up another ultrasound to check progression in two weeks?

Keeping you and Goji in my thoughts and prayers.

Not There Yet said...

yeah, yeah, yeah! I like the suggestion of some rest... can you take a few days off?

*Lissa* said...

I will be thinking of you and the baby!! Glad everything seems to be okay right now!

Kristy said...

I'm sorry! I just know how sick with worry you can get in this situation. Hopefully, all is just fine and you truck right along into your 2nd trimester!

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Anonymous said...

It has been a while since I visited your blog and now I see you are pregnant, how wonderful :) I can understand your worries, but don't let this worry make you miss all the precious memories in a pregnancy :)
Wishing you and you baby all the best!

cornflakegirl74 said...

I agree completely with what cirquedemoi said. Try to enjoy this time in your life as much as possible (though I'm sure there will be so many worries throughout). I'm glad that all looked well when you went for your checkup though! Sending good vibes your way!

Dorkys Ramos said...

Keep the positive things in mind. I'm not a doctor, but I'm sure stressing and worrying aren't good for Goji either. Easier said than done, I know. Hope the spotting and freak-outs go away!

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Krista said...

Where are you? Are you okay? I'm worried about you.