Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Holy Shit, I'm Fat.

So it has come to my attention that I'm overweight.

I've put off this idea for long enough. It's time to face the facts.

I actually have proof.

Here is me three years ago, on my wedding day. This is when I could eat an entire pizza. I had fast food and Starbucks 5 days a week and never gained a pound:

Please excuse the look of absolute terror on my face. I was afraid of falling while walking down the aisle and I was having a momentary freak-out attack when the photographer was nice enough to snap this shot. Jesus, I had such an awesome body. I was a size 6 or 8... maybe even a 4, I didn't even pay attention to the size of my pants back then.

Here is me now. when I can eat really well and gain 10 pounds in one month, even though it took me 10 months just to lose 15 pounds. I fluctuate between a size 12 and a size 14:

Looking at this makes me want to cry... seriously. I look HORRIBLE. Atrocious. Disgusting.

But the good thing is, I'm ready for a change.

I'm going to steal an idea from my friend Jamee over at A New Kind Of Normal and do Wednesday Weigh-Ins.

Pictures can show you what mirrors can't. I've been looking at my reflection every day of my life, and yet I could not see the MASSIVE difference between the way I looked three years ago, and the way I look now. I don't want to look like this anymore.

I never got into New Years Resolutions because I've never done something for myself unless I really wanted to... I have never seen a resolution through to the end. So, I refuse to call this a resolution. I'm going to chalk it up to coincidence that the New Year is 3 days away and just say that I have a strong desire to not look awful and that I'm finally going to do something about it.

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.


Krista said...

1) Good luck
2) you are still hot
3) Bright side, look at your big boobs!
4) You forever have your arms crossed!! LOL

Lauren said...

oh darlin....you are beautiful....your heart shines through your beautiful eyes.

Thanks so much for swinging by my blog yesterday! I look forward to poking around yours a little too! Happy New Year! please don't be so hard on yourself...I mean, work hard towards your goals...but appreciate the beauty that is you. :)

Shirley said...

I did the same as you... thought I was OK, until I saw myself in a very large bathroom mirror naked. Scared the crap out of me. You'll make it, you just gotta keep on trying!

Shell said...

Good luck to you!

I have a fear of my scale. An intense one. I stepped on yesterday and found out that I have gained TEN pounds in the past two months. Yikes.

Stopping in from SITS.

Jamee said...

You are amazing and can do this! WE CAN DO THIS! A new challenge started today over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans! Check out my blog post! We can do this together :)

Brittney said...

LOL someone stole my first thought... Well hey, it looks like all the weight was your chest! ;-)

I'm doing the same deal. Since relocating 2 years ago to a new state after our wedding.. I apparently ate a few people. Or a dozen. I went from a size 4 to a size 14, except its MORE gross because I'm 4'10". We can do this!! I'm blogging my weight loss, too! (under "the 40" which, thanks to the holidays, is basically the "45" now)

Mrs. Potts said...

Good luck! I know it will be hard, but you can do it!

Crystal said...

You look great, but I know the feeling, it's all in your appearance to yourself. Happy New Year! :)

The Local Cook said...

Yeah, I'm going to hit the weight loss hard this year. Stop by my blog for Fit Jerk Fridays - I'm starting a weekly healthy recipe blog carnival and I hope to get lots of ideas from fellow bloggers!

Anastasia said...

I wish you the best of luck, even though you are beautiful either way!!

Andhari said...

Honestly, I think you look pretty :)

Good luck in your resolution, I'm sure you can shed pounds the way you want it. Take it slow though, so it doesn't frustate you. I find strict diet to be my downfall. I get depressed and eat even more :/ don't do that. :)

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

You look beautiful in both pictures. Seriously!

If you want to lose some weight that's cool. But don't do it because you think you're disgusting. You're SO not disgusting. I think you're lovely.

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