Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge

I am out of my funk... finally.

The strangest thing happened. I had a week filled with absolute misery and terrifying news. All of these bad things, they made me realize that I am so incredibly lucky. I'm alive, I have a loving husband, I can buy groceries, I'm not starving. I think it took death, other people getting sick, and circumstances I couldn't control or help with to get me to really sit back and see just how lucky I am, even if some of the situations in my life are not so great right now.

To say that the last week hasn't been stressful, mind blowing, and an absolute test of my will to remain sane would be a lie of epic proportion. Because I am just oh-so-efficient ::::insert eye roll here:::: I have made a list of the things that went wrong in the last 8 days:

1. My step mom's sister passed away. She was in her 40's, she was sitting on the couch having a discussion with her husband, she had an aneurysm and she died instantaneously. She was a wonderful woman with an amazing sense of humor. It was so freaking sad.

2. I didn't get paid for 3 weeks. I had almost no money.

3. Because I had no money, Time Warner shut off my phones, cable and internet. They did so with NO warning. They said they tried to call me, but they never left a voicemail. They never sent a letter. I understand that it's my responsibility to keep up with the bills, and I accept that I made a mistake by not paying them on time. But seriously, what company cuts off service without even leaving you a VOICEMAIL? Time Warner does. Because they blow. Hard.

4. My brother was hospitalized. He has autism. He started having seizures and they brought him to the hospital. After a lot of blood work and some scans, it looks like he was accidentally overmedicated by the nurse on duty at the home he lives in. This is the first time in 17 years that anything bad has happened to him while he was living there. It scares the shit out of me that this is something which *could* occur again in the future.

The world is a very scary place for a control freak. There are so few things that you can *actually* control. The above things (other than the Time Warner fiasco... I know I could have prevented that if I had been able to pay the bill) were all out of my control and they all made me feel helpless and afraid.

There is ONE thing that I can control in life, and that is my weight. I ate healthy, I worked out, I progressed to level 2 of the 30 Day Shred, I sweat my freaking ass off and it felt SO GOOD to have one little thing that I could grasp on to; SO GOOD to know that there was a positive in all the negative being thrown my way.

*I can control what I put into my body, and I can control how I treat my body.*

And I treated my body like it needed to have its ass kicked by Jillian Michaels.

And it paid off. It was a small loss, but it was more of a non scale victory. My pants are loose. I gained almost an entire new Spring wardrobe for free. I had all these clothes in bags to take to Goodwill because they didn't fit me. They were sitting in the closet and I had completely forgotten about them. I was trying to find something to wear the other day that actually *fit* me (everything is becoming very baggy) and the bag of clothes literally FELL onto my head... it hurt a little, but I'm glad it happened. All of my size 10 and 12 jeans and shorts from last year that I couldn't squeeze into were a perfect fit. I know, I know. I have a little guilt about not giving them to Goodwill. But, seriously people, I can't afford to go shopping for a new wardrobe right now, and I can't walk around with my pants falling down, so the skinny people over at Goodwill are going to have to wait for me to drop down to the next size.

Here are my current stats:
Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4
Current challenge goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 163.2
Today's weigh-in: 162
Change: -1.2

Overall change: -12.4


Brooke said...

great job on the loss and even moreso the shift in attitude!

i'm sorry things suck right now, but it does make you appreciate the little things - like a bag of clothes falling on your head! :P

Christy - The Sisterhood said...

I'm sorry you've had such a rough week. SO sorry.

Congratulations on your loss, though! That's something amazing!!! You are in control of your body and your health!! And WOOT for clothes falling from the sky, and them being smaller AND fitting :) YAY!

TRBS said...

Congrats on the loss. I'm sorry you had a tough week. Things will turn around, they always do.

Jamee said...

Congrats on the loss! You have had so much going on & you are one of the strongest women I know!

Mommy Mo said...

It is official- you have had a tough week. I am so sorry for all the suck that has gone on and so sorry about your Aunt and your brother. BUt, on the other hand, congrats on pulling a loss even with all the stress Great job!

Lisa @ Shrinking Jeans

Christie O. said...

wow, all very, very eye opening. that's so scary and so sad about your step-mother's sister, i'm so sorry! what a tough week.

i think it's funny that your clothes fell as if out of the sky telling you to wear them. that makes me laugh! congrats on the loss, girl! *hugs*

Karena said...

Great on the loss! What a tough week -- so sorry to hear about all the bad going down. So happy, though, to hear about the clothing incident!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

What a rough week- hugs to you. I think it is amazing that you've been able to see the bright side of things and btw, a one pound loss is awesome! And don't you just love that you can shop your closet?

Drea said...

"so the skinny people over at Goodwill are going to have to wait for me to drop down to the next size."

OMG like SOOO funny!

Mine was apokyla. Is that ironic in any way?

Shayn said...

Congratulations on your weight loss --- I lost 75 pounds in 2009, so I totally get how amazing it feels when those pants are loose... and how bizarre it is to realize that they don't fit you any more :-) I have a coupon posted on my blog for 30% off this weeken (March 18 - 21) at Old Navy, The Gap, and Banana Republic (and they'll donate 5% of the sale to Dress for Success) ---

Keep it up! :-)

Jennifer said...

Your loss is very inspiring and your ability to deal with some major road blocks is impressive...and I love the fact you "blog through it!" Keep up the great work!
Do you go to WW? Sounds like it from the weekly weigh in and challenge goals. I go, but I find it hard to keep track of all the points...