TTC & Infertility Bloggers

I'm not going to lie.

I love "shameless plugging"... I do it a lot on my blog. However, I don't look at it as shameless, or anything to be ashamed of for that matter. If I enjoy a product or I think you will enjoy someone else's blog, I will plug them as much as possible. NOT because I get paid to do it (though, wouldn't that be nice?) but because I think it's rad, and I like other people to enjoy things along with me. Cool things get much cooler when you can share them with others (unless it's a donut... for the love of God, people, don't share your donut).

I guess it's more of "simple pleasure plugging" as opposed to "shameless plugging."

I started a community for bloggers dealing with TTC, trouble TTC and Infertility. I'd like it to encompass the broadest scope possible: ttc, trouble ttc, infertility, those going through IVF, people who are dealing with multiple (or just one) miscarriage(s), etc.

If you'd like to join, please do so by clicking HERE. There is also a badge on the side of my blog underneath the About Me gadget. You can click on it and it'll take you there.

I would love for it to become a community of supportive women bloggers who, while individually dealing with their own personal battles, understand the heartache involved with the battles of others and can offer emotional strength and support.

If you are not dealing with the above mentioned issues but you know someone who is, please feel free to send them to the group. We could all use friends who understand us :).

A Vision

There is a mall here in NC called the Concord Mills Mall. Anyone who truly knows me is already rolling their eyes as they know that I claim the mall as my mother ship, my true home, my raison d'etre.
Ok, now I'm rolling my own eyes.
It's true though. I have a problem. The first step in solving a problem is admitting that there actually is one and I have no problem admitting that I have a problem.

Does that makes sense?

All those problems aside, I've been doing very well with my shopping addiction. No huge frivolous expenses, no purchases for incredibly expensive musical equipment that I'll never use. I'm doing a good job. Deep breaths.

The Concord Mills Mall is a comfort to me for more reasons than just the conveniently scattered Starbucks. Ironically, it was built by the same man who did the Sawgrass Mills Mall, which was located about 5 minutes away from my condo when I lived in South Florida.

The two malls are so similar that, if I blind myself to the fact that most people are wearing two layers of clothes, scarves, snow boots, etc., I can almost pretend that I'm back in my sunny hometown and stopping by the mall for some cute beach accessory before heading down to Ft. Lauderdale strip.

I jump at any opportunity to make the 25 minute drive to Concord Mills Mall, so when my husband asked if I wanted to go so he could buy me my Valentine's Day gift I was in the car with the keys in the ignition before he even knew I had said "yes."

I had asked him for a sports bra that actually fit me. A QUALITY boob supporter, not just any crummy over the shoulder booby grasper, but one that would squoosh those suckers down. I've been using a sports bra of mine from like... 4 YEARS ago and, well, my boobs were basically smacking me across the face every time I worked out. Not comfortable and CERTAINLY not pretty.

It just so happens that the entrance closest to the Nike store is a *HUGE* shop called The Children's Place. My husband was giving me the side eye as we walked towards the entrance and I knew why. Every time we pass the baby section in any store I sort of lose my cool. I try not to, but I can't help it. I usually keep myself under control... on most occasions you can just sort of see that proverbial shadow pass over my face.

On the way in I was alright, I just sort of ooooh'd and aaaaaah'd at the vast majority of inexpensive cuteness hanging from the walls and scattered among the displays. Even my husband was impressed and he kept saying "Oh yeah, when we have a baby we are totally shopping here!"

It was as we were leaving that I had the vision... it didn't hit me until we reached the parking lot and we were walking away.

On our way out of The Children's Place I had seen this shirt:


It was paired with adorable pink leggings.

I was busy chatting excitedly with my husband about how beautiful our daughter would be in that outfit and as soon as the words came out of my mouth...

I saw her.

And when I say I saw her, I am telling you that I LITERALLY saw her. I don't remember much from the moment, but my husband tells me that I actually stopped in the middle of the parking lot and just stared straight ahead of me for a short few seconds and that I had a faint smile on my lips.

She was skipping along ahead of us in the adorable shirt pictured above with her cute little leggings and a pair of pink shoes to match. She had the same long, wavy dark hair and olive skin as me... but when she turned around to smile at me she had the most beautiful bright blue eyes, just like her father. This probably doesn't make much sense, but it was the most real thing that I have ever NOT really seen. I'll never forget exactly what she looked like and how it made me feel when she turned, giggling, and smiled at me. I felt my heart leap out of my chest and burst into a billion pieces of light.

I'm not sure exactly why I had that "vision" or what it was supposed to mean or whether or not it was just my imagination, but it gave me hope that one day I'll be able to physically hold that beautiful little girl, and my husband and I can call her ours.

Lines, beautiful lines.

I ovulated.

I'm so happy I could shit a brick.

Our timing sucks and I know there is a slim chance in hell that I'm actually pregnant because there was no sex in my fertile window, thanks to Thanksgiving travel, but who gives a flying matzo ball? I freaking ovulated and I'm ecstatic. I spoke with my doctor and she said that she believed I would start ovulating normally once I dropped some weight, and since I've dropped 15 pounds in the last few months, I think I'm on the right track. Let's hope this continues.

My chart doesn't look *that* impressive because, once again, I was traveling over Thanksgiving so I didn't get to chart my temperatures that often, but I still got some dotted cross hairs.

When I saw those cross hairs magically appear this morning I literally choked on my coffee.

Want to see? Check it out!: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/29a70b

Isn't it beautiful? :::::sighs:::::

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go vomit rainbows and shit butterflies... and perhaps I'll even burp up something akin to this:

A Love / Hate Relationship With My Chart

Back in August I stated in a post that I was considering the idea of fertility charting, but that I really didn't want to because I was stubborn, because charting would mean that I was admitting I needed help... that I didn't know my own body.

On the first day of my last period I finally decided to do it.

I've mentioned this in many previous blog posts, but throughout our TTC "adventure" I have remained extremely positive. I don't even have to try *not* to be bitter as I don't associate my fertility with anyone else's. I know everyone is different, but I honestly don't see a point in getting upset because someone else was able to get pregnant. Why? Well, because (again) everyone is different. What does that person's fertility have to do with me and my body? Absolutely nothing.

I have to admit that ever since I got past CD14 there have been gray clouds slowly gathering on the horizon of my normally sunny disposition.

For most of my life, I have had extremely irregular periods. I would go 2, 3, sometimes up to 6 months with nothing. It was really hindering the TTC process.

Much to my surprise, I have been very steady since June and getting a period every 30 to 35 days. I was absolutely shocked the first few times.

I am now on CD24 of my first chart and there's no ovulation in sight and I'm starting to worry that the last 6 months of periods have been anovulatory. That's a very hefty thing for me to just guess at, but it's something that's definitely freaking me out.

I suppose, like many things in life, I will just have to be patient and wait to see what happens with my chart. I've only been charting for 25 days and it's already a love/hate relationship. I love the idea of knowing more about my body, but I *hate* sitting there and staring at it even though I know the cross hairs that signify ovulation aren't going to magically appear out of nowhere.
Heh, it's sort of like staring at a home pregnancy test.

Poll Comments

If you'd like to elaborate on my baby supply poll, please feel free to comment here. :)

Thanks for your input!

10 Months? REALLY?

I just noticed that I've entered the 10th month of trying to conceive... thank you ticker at the bottom of my blog. I feel like time is rushing away from me, I can't believe it's been 10 months.
I've got my hopes up, and I think that's a good thing. Why not have hope? Life without hope is dank and depressing.
Of course, feel free to check back with me when I hit the one year marker, I might not be so optimistic at that point.

Here's Your Period... Now Enjoy this Chocolate Martini.

I actually got my period... and it's actually on time (sort of). In reality, I got it yesterday or the night before, but I always experience at least 2 to 3 days of light spotting before all hell breaks loose. Considering the fact that I am used to 3, 4, sometimes even 6 months of no period at all, I am schocked, happy, and amazed. My last period ended at the end of June, so early August is not only waaaaay sooner than I was expecting, it's close to being within the "norm" for a healthy ovulatory cycle.

I've begun to seriously contemplate the idea of charting. I honestly don't want to, and I know that sounds stupid, but I have my reasons. Almost everyone in my family is in the medical field. My mom is a nurse, brother is a paramedic, I have an uncle and aunt who are doctors, my cousin works for a pharmaceutical distribution company, one uncle is a retired blood lab owner... well, you get my point. We are a pretty open family and a few of them know that Russell and I have been trying to have a baby. My mom, cousin and aunt keep telling me that I should stop worrying so much because "it's all a crap shoot." I know that's not true, as I'm sure they all know as well... I think it might have been more of an attempt to get me to relax on their part, but I never ever thought that I'd be looking at conceiving from a scientific point of view, and I really never wanted it to be that way. I always thought that it would *just happen* ... like *POOF* I'm pregnant! Even as recently as 9 months ago, when we first started trying, I was blogging about what crib we would get and how we'd decorate the nursery. It makes me feel really uneducated about my body and how things work, but I'm pretty sure that there are other people out there who were just as hopeful when they first started trying. I'm pretty big on hope, so sometimes I mistake my own positive outlook for stupidity or naivety. I should probably stop that. I think having hope is extremely important.
Uh oh, there I go on another tangent :P... back to charting! Thanks to a friend of mine, I learned that Fertility Friend is actually free. I was under the impression that it cost money to use their charting software, but I was wrong, hooray! It's one of the rare occassions that I'm happy to be wrong.
Like I said before, for some odd reason I have been hesitant and sort of scared to start charting, probably because it's the last bit of my stubborn mind telling me that my body needs no help in getting pregnant, but I think it might help me to have a more in-depth understanding of my body and how it works.
In the meantime, I think I'll take the advice of a very wise Nestie and enjoy some chocolate!! Mmmmmmm!

Baby Update: Negative

I took a home pregnancy test this morning and I got a big fat negative. I want to be disappointed, I really do, but something is preventing me from getting overly upset about it.
For the first time since we started trying to have a baby (back in October), I am at peace with the fact that I have yet to get pregnant.
There are people who've been trying to have a baby for a lot longer than I have... and there are women who have been told by doctors that they simply can't bare children. I am so lucky to *not* be at that point yet. According to my doctor, I'm still in the "normal" time period, and even more so because I have very unsteady periods, so it's not like I missed an opportunity every month.
How can I get pregnant if I don't ovulate?
That is how I'm viewing this situation. My body has made it obvious that, for whatever reason, I don't ovulate normally... I can't expect a baby if I don't have an egg to fertilize. Looking at it from a scientific perspective has really improved my outlook.
It could also be that the last month and a half has been pretty tumultuous and that my mind is not prepared to deal with any more disappointment than is absolutely necessary.
At this point, I feel like throwing my hands up and saying "Ok, so I'm not pregnant... NEXT."
I don't want to blame whatever issues I have with my body on God. It always seems to me that people blame God for everything, but give Him/Her credit for nothing. I hear a lot of "I found this $100 bill on the floor, how lucky am I?!"
"Wow, I got a promotion, I worked really hard and earned this!"
"I kept my job in this recession, I must be valuable to this company!"
And then I hear a lot of
"My cat died... God had other plans for her."
"I just found out that my brother has cancer... how could God do this to us?"
"I don't understand why my life is this terrible, but I'm sure that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle."
I understand if you believe that God has a hand in EVERYTHING, good and bad... so that you give thanks to Him/Her in all situations. But I just don't think it would be fair for me to blame God for whatever difficulties I am experiencing because I don't have a close relationship with God. I was never brought up to be religious... and it helps me feel better when I look at things from the view that it's *noone's* fault that I'm having issues. It just happened because sometimes, shit just happens.

Though I have certainly noticed the ease with which people who don't want to get pregnant become pregnanty quickly, I can't associate myself with them or overanalyze it, because I'll become bitter. Someone on the Babies On The Brain message board mentioned that it seems the only people getting pregnant without some form of difficulty are teenagers, crackheads, people with meth labs, and people who in a general sense should not be having children. When I look at it from that point of view, it's harder for me to avoid the "bitter uterus" syndrome where I start hating everyone who is getting pregnant. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to feel anything but positive energy and bubbly enthusiasm for any of my friends who have the awesome opportunity to carry a child. I don't want to get to a point where I am placing my friends in the same group as crackheads and meth lab owners. When I think of how ridiculously happy it would make me to get pregnant, it just reinforces this knowledge. If something so wonderful happened to me, how would I feel if someone else harbored ill will towards me about it... especially if it were a friend? It would be devastating. Besides, if I think of this from a logical perspective, it makes no sense to associate my physical problems with someone else's good news. The announcement, "I'm pregnant," from someone I don't even know shouldn't immediately make me think "Why can't I get pregnant?! What's wrong with ME? This person has made me angry because they are experiencing something that I want... I'm jealous to the point of tears." That makes no sense to me, and so I refuse to feed into that mindset.
I have hope, and that's all I can really ask for.
There is always hope.

Oh yeah, and by the way...

Since my body treated me to a period...

I TREATED MY BODY TO SOME FREAKIN' CHOCOLATE!!!!! Yeah, baby!! :P

My hormonies are focaccia'd... in a good way! :)

That's right, I said "hormonies," a'la My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I use bread to describe things that are off kilter. What can I say? I'm special.

This weekend (the entire last week would probably be a more accurate time frame) has been an emotional roller coaster for Russell, my immediate family, and I.

Since I have both bad and good news, I will start with the bad news first.

I guess a brief history of all concerned is a good idea.

My step sister, Melissa, got pregnant about 8 years ago when she was 18. Her boyfriend, Shawn, was actually very nice, and they'd been together for a while, so it wasn't a bad thing... unexpected, but certainly not bad. Melissa and Shawn named their son Javon.
When Javon was only a year old, Shawn died of an accidental overdose. It was terrible, tragic, and we all mourned for him.
Fast forward to about 5 years ago, my step sister moves in with Drew, her boyfriend, and she gets pregnant again. None of us (that includes me, Russell, Joe my step dad, my mother, Javon, and pretty much everyone else) like Drew at all. In fact, I think it'd be safe to say that we genuinely HATE him. Drew is abusive, he drinks way too much, he treats Melissa like shit, and he doesn't care about Javon at all.
Melissa stayed with Drew until about a year ago, when he ended up breaking her clavicle bone and sending her to the hospital. He moved out and went back down to South Florida and Melissa stayed up here.
Well, my mom and Joe got a call from Brian (Melissa's step dad) on Wednesday asking if they were going to do anything with Melissa before she left for Florida on Sunday. Needless to say, my mom and Joe were totally shocked. Apparently, Melissa was going to move back down to Florida to be with Drew on Father's Day... and she wasn't even going to tell any of us about it. Of course, we are all livid, but more for Javon than for her. We've already accepted that she is going to make this incredibly stupid move and that she's not going to listen to any of us. Mom and Joe even offered to let her live downstairs in their spare living quarters RENT FREE until she got her stuff together, in case this idiotic move was because she was financially strained. But, she said no. Basically, she feels that Drew has changed (she's been talking to him for the last 6 months, which none of us were aware of) and now she wants to go be with him again. Her exact words, I believe, were: "He's been going to church... he's changed."
I'm not against religion in any way shape or form, but I think that is totally bullshit. A lot of times, people who claim to have changed from raging alcoholics and abusive spouses by the powers of religion are ok for a while. But all it takes is one little thing, one tiny seemingly insignificant problem, and they crack... and then it's even WORSE than before. It's like all the rage they've been supressing under the surface for the last few years comes erupting out of them like Mt. Vesuvius and then they're even more dangerous than they were before. I'm really scared he's going to kill her eventually.
The thing that bothers me the most about this though, is that Javon hates Drew. And Drew is a complete moron. I love Javon very much... Russell and I are very close to him and could only love him more if he were our own child (and even then, it's up for debate). This kid is BRILLIANT. A good example of his intelligence would be when we took him to the Museum of Natural Sciences and we were looking at butterflies that were in a clear case, getting ready to come out of their chrysalis. I said "Javon, check out those butterflies coming out of the cocoons! How cool is that?" And he said "You're thinking of moths... butterflies come out of the chrysalis!" My mouth dropped. He's only 7... the kid is freaking brilliant.
We're scared that Javon isn't going to have anyone around to stimulate his brain. He usually hangs out with my mother and she takes him to the library to get him books and we take him to museums and other places that we think will enhance his learning, but down in Florida he won't have any of us. And Drew is a terrible influence.
On the positive side, my mom and Joe convinced Melissa to allow Javon to stay with them for the next 3 weeks. So, we get to spend some time with him, and we're going to soak up every possible minute. We took him to the museum in Raleigh on Father's Day. We took a few pictures and I've been trying to get them up on my blog, but I've lost the stupid USB cable for the digital camera :(. As soon as I find it, I can post those pictures, plus a bunch of pictures of my animals because they're cute... and seriously, who doesn't enjoy pictures of cute animals?

On to the good news...
I finally got my period after SIX MONTHS of wondering when it was going to show its ugly face again. I've never been so happy to see something gross! I'm hoping that I never have to go through another 6 months hiatus again. I've had 2, 3, and sometimes 4 month spans, but I honestly don't think I've ever skipped 6 months before. So, this is a major plus. If I can get on some sort of schedule (ha! good luck with that one, right?), than it will be a lot easier for me to track things for the behbeh makin'!

BFN# 5 and more...

BFN.

I'm getting used to those :::::chuckles:::::

Enough negativity though. I noticed that there's enough negative in this blog to kill a freaking pink unicorn, so I'm going to try and be a little more positive.

I've started a 101 in 1001 list and I'm having a lot of fun putting it together! There are so many things that I'm looking forward to doing. Getting to the beach, saving some money, paying down some credit cards, writing a few chapters in what will hopefully be the best book EVER, the book that makes me millions... you know, so Russell and I can move to a remote island, invite all our family and friends, and pretty much rule in our awesomeness until the day we party too hard and die :P. In all seriousness though, I'd love to write a book. I've started many of them, never finished any of them. Oh well, c'est la vie. I'm pretty amazing and starting things and not going through with them.

In other news, our dogs are being so good! I'm seriously amazed. I bought a book on behavior "therapy" and training specifically designed for chihuahuas and it is working really well. The thing that I love the most is that almost everything they're learning is taught through positive reinforcement, which I feel dogs (no matter what breed) always respond to better than negative reinforcement. It is so cute watching them get excited when they know it's bathroom time and time to go outside. They also LOVE getting treats and positive attention when they sit, come, stay, etc. I'm so glad that they've been having less accidents in the house too. That wasn't really a HUGE issue, but it was an occasional problem that is gradually getting better.

I can't wait until they are able to go to the dog park. We've been slowly socializing them with my mom's Boxer, who is just one of the sweetest dogs in the world. He's HUGE, about 97 pounds, and our dogs are only about 12 pounds put together, but King (my mom's Boxer) is really gentle. He never plays too hard and he just sort of romps around the yard with them. It's adorable! They're starting to understand that they don't own the universe (ok, maybe they own MINE lol) and that's a definite plus. We're going to try taking them to PetSmart to see how they handle being around dogs other than King. I'm actually quite excited about this. I love buying them toys and treats. Seriously, we have a HUGE bin of toys that they barely ever use. Yeah, I'm *that* kind of human.

I'm going to try and take some more pictures to post here. If there's one thing I'm really bad at, it's taking pictures. I have barely any pictures of our animals. I'll have to work on that. Maybe one of the 101 things I'll do is to make a pet photo album hehe :).

BFN# 4 / And more...

Wow... it has been over a month since I updated my blog, I guess that maybe it's time to post an entry.

It has been a very trying two months... things could obviously be a lot worse, as far as I know we are both healthy and surviving as best we can. About a month ago I received a $500 to $800 a month paycut (my boss cut my commission from the gross sales of the company), so our financial situation has gone from pretty crappy to downright scary.

I went for my pre-conception check up on April 2nd and they tested me for all sorts of things. I found out that I don't have chlamydia or ghonnorea (not surprised there! lol), my pap results came back negative for everything. So I don't have to worry about cervical cancer for another 330-some odd days, thank God. I still have to go back for my blood work and an ultrasound. They want to check my ovaries (obviously) since I seem to not be ovulating. This is the longest time I have ever gone without a period in my life and I'm wondering if it's because I'm *waiting* for it.

I've never had a steady period (save for the 3 years I was on birth control pills), and it is not uncommon for me to go 3 months without my period... but it is May 2nd and the first day of my last period was December 15th... so it has been well over 3 months. I don't have any sort of pain and/or discomfort, so that's a plus. It might be the severe stress that I'm feeling about my work situation... or the fact that I've started working out a lot more. But I've been doing the work-outs for the better part of 3 months now, so my body should be somewhat used to that.

My doctor also told me that I need to chill... *seriously* chill. She says that I'm stressing out way too much about this, and that if I keep stressing, it's just going to make it more difficult for me to get pregnant.

I get what she's trying to say, I really do... but I'm more of the mindset that I'm not going to get pregnant without some form of ovulation (duh) and that the real problem is physiological and not psychological.

BFN# 3

Nothing... negative.

Crap :(.

I'm Coming Out of the Closet!

I finally put a link (a very *small* link) to my blog under my siggy picture on The Nest. I had been debating about it for a while, but I've made some pretty cool friends on that site, and everyone seems nice, so I figured: why not?

I can't decide if I like this template or not. The Fleur-de-Lis has long been one of my favorite symbols... but I think it takes away from the brown, pink and blue color scheme I had going for a while. Oh well, I never keep the same template for long anyway.

So, I was reading an article about Nadya Suleman (the octuplet mom) and it made me so incredibly angry. I am very live-and-let-live, I have absolutely no issue with people having more children than what is considered normal. But this lady has blown the concept of having a child WAY out of proportion. First of all, she's living with her mother, so she can't even afford her own place to live. Second, she already had a whole freaking tribe of kids before the eight that she just gave birth to. Third, she just received (according to the article) $400,000 to $500,000 worth of donations from people who are sympathetic to her. Um, hello?! What the hell is there to be sympathetic about? This lady is freaking insane. I do not want my tax dollars going to her... I'm really feeling like the only reason she had those kids was for publicity and funding. It's disgusting... and knowing how many wonderful women there are out there, who are having issues getting pregnant, who are dealing with infertility and with the difficulties of adoption, it just really makes my stomach turn. And another thing, if she is getting so much money from donations and the government, what the hell is she doing living with her mother and using food stamps? Just another case of a complete moron who'se learned to abuse the system.

Makes me f*cking SICK.

Breakdown...

Well, I had somewhat of a break-down today. Luckily, I have my awesome friend, Drea, to be there for me. She seriously sat there and listened to me bitch and complain and cry hysterically for like an hour and said absolutely nothing... just listened. It was so sweet and I'm so lucky to have a friend like her.

She is the best friend EVER.

I'm just feeling so hopeless lately. I know it has a lot to do with my brother in law moving in with us, and the stress that I feel in regards to that. But it's also the feeling that internally, there is something wrong with me.

I'm sure there are plenty of people out there with irregular periods... but this whole "not ovulating" situation is really starting to weigh heavily on my shoulders.

As if that wasn't enough, I'm also stressed out about money. I have such a headache.

On a more positive note, today I received some of the birthday gifts I ordered for Russell. I'm pretty excited, they actually looked really nice. There are still many more to come, but just getting these was kind of refreshing. Getting stuff in the mail is always fun! Plus, I love when our UPS guy delivers... he wears the craziest things. It's about 30 degrees outside, so it's definitely cold, but I'm wearing a long sleeve t-shirt, thick black sweat pants, and a heavy jacket and I'm fine. The UPS guy that delivers here came in wearing a beanie with a hat over it, a neck warmer/guard, two jackets over his UPS shirt, and a thick pair of pants with what I can only assume were at least two pairs of socks under his boots. He's also not very nice... he is the least sociable person I've come into contact with up here... so that kind of makes it even more funny.

As far as TTC goes, I really have nothing interesting to report. But then again, I usually don't... I'm wondering if I should just make my blog a daily journal type adventure as opposed to the chronicle of me attempting to get pregnant. I think it might be a bit more amusing that way.

If I decide to do that, I can regal my readers (well, *reader* for now) with awesome stories of my day as opposed to just "I'm not pregnant / I am pregnant / I haven't ovulated," etc.

I think I'll do it!

I finally bought some of those new-fangled ovary thingys...

Haha... nice way to put it, I suppose.

Well, after 3 months of trying to get pregnant and no luck (and only one period), I decided to try my luck with ovulation trackers.

So, basically, I've peed on a stick for the last 5 mornings... guess how many times I've gotten a positive for ovulation?

NONE!

Blows, but it's true. I guess I shouldn't have expected to get anywhere with those in only 5 days... but whatever, I'm impatient.

Two mornings left and if I don't have any luck, I'm going to have to buy another pack of them. So, $17 per week on ovulation trackers for someone who gets her period less than 6 times a year?

This could get very expensive....

BFN #2

After taking yet another pregnancy test and upping the humping, still no behbeh.

That's ok though! I'm not discouraged, good things are worth waiting for!

Just need to up the humping a lot more (which could be done). And, on another note, I FINALLY got my period after 4 months of nothing... seriously, last time was August. Ew.

Hopefully that will give me a better idea of where I stand in the ovulation cycle. Hopefully...

BFN #1 :(

If you don't speak "Nest," the above abbreviations mean "trying to conceive#1 / big fat negative."

So, my pregnancy test came up negative today... which was pretty upsetting. Then again, I didn't exactly "try" a lot last month, so who can really expect anything differently (me!)?

I've updated my ticker so that it shows the next time I should test. I'm going to try and make it a point to fornicate at every extra opportunity I have.

I might come back and post something witty and funny later... for now, I'm not really in the mood.

How the fuck am I supposed to track my fertility if I haven't had my period since fucking AUGUST?!

Barack Obama... Helping Wives Get Pregnant... One Humpfest at a Time.

Dear future President Obama,

I think my husband must love you. You helped him get sex last night.

All the faith in the world that you'll do a good job,
~~*AT*~~

No seriously, I was so happy about the fact that he won the presidency that we ended up boning.

In other news, I get to test in 3 days and I'm pretty excited about that. I'm not expecting anything because I don't want to be disappointed... but to say that I won't be disappointed if I get a negative test would be a lie... so I guess I really am expecting something.

My mom's birthday is on the 8th, which is the same day I'm testing, so I'm going to do it in the morning and if it comes up positive, I'm going to go out and buy her a Grandma something or other and put it in with her birthday gifts... the only thing that will suck is if I find out I am pregnant on Saturday morning, I still have to go to work right afterwards. That will suck BALLS. I suppose it's a good excuse to call in. I think it would sound something like this:

Me: Hey bossman, I can't come in to work today... I'm really sorry.
Bossman: Are you ok? What's wrong?
Me: I just found out I'm pregnant...
Bossman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :::::blood curdling scream:::::

Yeah, it would suck for my company if I had a behbeh in mah belleh... but whatevs. I can't ALWAYS think about them first. I gotta have a little time for mahself and mah man, bitches.

I am still trying to figure out what I will do about work once we have a baby... but I guess I shouldn't worry about it too much. It could take years for us to get pregnant so I have a while to mull it over.

I am PIMPLETASTIC!

Well, I feel a lot better today.

Except for another zit on my chin... and another one on the side of my face.

I am seriously broken out like a goddamn pizza pie. I could eat my own face. Ew.

Speaking of pizza pie, I am very excited to be eating a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut tonight. SUPREME STYLE, YEAH BABY! It is sick how badly I want to eat this thing... I am practically drooling just thinking about it.

I think today, I will take a hint from yesterday's post and look for a book about pregnancy. I wouldn't mind having one of those record books so I could keep track of everything. Plus, unless my pregnancy is TOTAL hell (bet you money it will be), it might be fun to look back at later on in life.

Here is the PERFECT book for me!



Hahahaha! Fucking awesome!