THE LIST

I have created my list of things I want to tackle over the next 21 Days (see post below for 21 Day Challenge).

1. Eat breakfast and lunch EVERY DAY, on time.

2. Take at least an hour to belly dance EVERY DAY for the next 21 days.

3. Do a yoga sequence EVERY DAY.

4. Drink more water. I already drink at least 50 oz. a day, but I think I'm going to buy one of those large water bottles that holds exactly the right amount you're supposed to have daily. That way I can just fill it up and work on it throughout the entire day.

I think 4 things is enough, right? I don't want to overwhelm myself and have a bad binge :P.

I will keep you posted!

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

Ooooh, look at the pretty button!

They are starting a new challenge over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans and I'm totally going to join it. It's only 21 days and I think it will really help to put some of the things that I HAVEN'T been doing SHOULD be doing into perspective.

The "rules" are simple enough. I just need to come up with a list of habits I'd like to form and then I need to put them into action. That doesn't sound so bad, does it? Do it with me... dooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiit.

I will be coming up with my list shortly and I'll probably post it tomorrow but I can already tell you one thing I've been skipping out on lately that I REALLY need to make a habit again... EATING BREAKFAST. For the last few weeks I have been completely skipping out on breakfast, and sometimes lunch, and that shit just needs to stop NOW.

So, I went grocery shopping and picked some stuff up... some very yummy stuff.

See?



Yes, my breakfast is a martini glass filled with Nonfat Greek Yogurt and sliced strawberries. Yes, I'm eating yogurt out of a martini glass... but it's the perfect portion AND it looks pretty, so why the hell not? Oh, and yes, that is my "don't yell at me, I'm eating my freaking breakfast" face.

Before I show my weigh-in results, I should mention that I haven't blogged my weight since April 1st, and at that point I weighed 158.6. Last Wednesday I DID weigh myself, I just didn't blog it, and I was at 155.8.

Ok, enough blabbing... here are my weigh-in results.

Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4

Last weigh-in: 155.8
Today's weigh-in: 155.
Change: -0.8

Overall change: -19.4

Come back and see me tomorrow, I should have my list up by then!

Wednesday Weigh-In... on a Thursday

This is a day late, but if you had any idea what is going on in my life you would totally understand.

The sad thing is, this is my blog, you SHOULD know the deep-down-dirty aspects of my life... and you DO know a lot of them, but this has to do with work and I'm really trying to obey law# 1 of bloggy-commandments and that's NOT TO TALK ABOUT WORK. Suffice it to say that I am screwed people. Not literally, but figuratively speaking, I am totally bum-fucked screwed.

So, I'm under a lot of stress, and yesterday I could barely find the energy to post the giveaway winner but I didn't want to let ya'll down. I have to feel like I'm important, you see, and this blog sort of makes me feel that way.

So THANK YOU readers for making me feel like I have something I need to be accountable for. I'm serious. I think this blog helps my self esteem, which is really REALLY strange because I've never met most of you... but as bloggers, I think we all know the power of blog and internet buddies. It is much stronger than people who don't have blog/internet buddies can understand.

Alright, enough moping and rambling... here are my current stats:
Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4
Current challenge goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 159.6
Today's weigh-in: 158.6
Change: -1.0

Overall change: -15.8

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

I've been sitting here trying to come up with a good way to lead into my non-scale victory this week, because I think that those are right in line with the importance of scale victories. Either my blogging skills are AWFUL, I'm not filled with enough coffee, or I'm just too tired, because I can't come up with anything catchy.... sooooo, I'll just come straight out and tell you!

I JOGGED 1 MILE ON THE TREADMILL LAST NIGHT!

I know some of the seasoned joggers/runners might be scoffing and saying "so? I do that all the time. A mile isn't that long!"

Welllll, it is for me.

Two months ago, I couldn't even jog for a minute and a half. I have had awful breathing capabilities since I was a teenager and I've never been able to run. For one thing, my boobs are way too big and it's extremely uncomfortable. Top that off with being a smoker from the age 14 to 24 (I quit 2 years ago, yeay!) and you have what is basically a sad, sad excuse for a lung.

But I beat that stigma I had hanging over my head last night when I pushed myself, almost to the point of feeling sick, to finish jogging that mile. When I started out I had no idea that it would come to that... I just figured that I'd jog until I got tired and be done with it. I looked down at the treadmill (I was watching Biggest Loser and not really paying attention) and saw just how far I had jogged and I thought "Wow, maybe I really *can* do this."

And I did.

I always laugh at and make fun of the sheer amount of crying that goes on when I watch The Biggest Loser. It usually seems very over the top to me. But last night, when I wobbled off the treadmill (which is right next to my bed), I sat down on the edge of the bed and I cried. Not huge, wailing sobs like you get sometimes on The Biggest Loser :P, but just little ones. I felt like I had just lifted something off of my chest and it was really, really nice. To the point where yes, I felt a few happy tears were in order.

It seems that every week I have a nice, non-scale victory and that is great... but having a SCALE victory is just as good, if not better.

I'm really excited to report that I'm down 2.4 pounds this week!

Here are my current stats:
Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4
Current challenge goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 162
Today's weigh-in: 159.6
Change: -2.4

Overall change: -14.8

Monday Project: Lent and My First Vlog

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

I am out of my funk... finally.

The strangest thing happened. I had a week filled with absolute misery and terrifying news. All of these bad things, they made me realize that I am so incredibly lucky. I'm alive, I have a loving husband, I can buy groceries, I'm not starving. I think it took death, other people getting sick, and circumstances I couldn't control or help with to get me to really sit back and see just how lucky I am, even if some of the situations in my life are not so great right now.

To say that the last week hasn't been stressful, mind blowing, and an absolute test of my will to remain sane would be a lie of epic proportion. Because I am just oh-so-efficient ::::insert eye roll here:::: I have made a list of the things that went wrong in the last 8 days:

1. My step mom's sister passed away. She was in her 40's, she was sitting on the couch having a discussion with her husband, she had an aneurysm and she died instantaneously. She was a wonderful woman with an amazing sense of humor. It was so freaking sad.

2. I didn't get paid for 3 weeks. I had almost no money.

3. Because I had no money, Time Warner shut off my phones, cable and internet. They did so with NO warning. They said they tried to call me, but they never left a voicemail. They never sent a letter. I understand that it's my responsibility to keep up with the bills, and I accept that I made a mistake by not paying them on time. But seriously, what company cuts off service without even leaving you a VOICEMAIL? Time Warner does. Because they blow. Hard.

4. My brother was hospitalized. He has autism. He started having seizures and they brought him to the hospital. After a lot of blood work and some scans, it looks like he was accidentally overmedicated by the nurse on duty at the home he lives in. This is the first time in 17 years that anything bad has happened to him while he was living there. It scares the shit out of me that this is something which *could* occur again in the future.

The world is a very scary place for a control freak. There are so few things that you can *actually* control. The above things (other than the Time Warner fiasco... I know I could have prevented that if I had been able to pay the bill) were all out of my control and they all made me feel helpless and afraid.

There is ONE thing that I can control in life, and that is my weight. I ate healthy, I worked out, I progressed to level 2 of the 30 Day Shred, I sweat my freaking ass off and it felt SO GOOD to have one little thing that I could grasp on to; SO GOOD to know that there was a positive in all the negative being thrown my way.

*I can control what I put into my body, and I can control how I treat my body.*

And I treated my body like it needed to have its ass kicked by Jillian Michaels.

And it paid off. It was a small loss, but it was more of a non scale victory. My pants are loose. I gained almost an entire new Spring wardrobe for free. I had all these clothes in bags to take to Goodwill because they didn't fit me. They were sitting in the closet and I had completely forgotten about them. I was trying to find something to wear the other day that actually *fit* me (everything is becoming very baggy) and the bag of clothes literally FELL onto my head... it hurt a little, but I'm glad it happened. All of my size 10 and 12 jeans and shorts from last year that I couldn't squeeze into were a perfect fit. I know, I know. I have a little guilt about not giving them to Goodwill. But, seriously people, I can't afford to go shopping for a new wardrobe right now, and I can't walk around with my pants falling down, so the skinny people over at Goodwill are going to have to wait for me to drop down to the next size.

Here are my current stats:
Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4
Current challenge goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 163.2
Today's weigh-in: 162
Change: -1.2

Overall change: -12.4

Wednesday Weigh-In

Oh, my dears...

I am still in my funk.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

Oh wait, maybe I DO know.

Perhaps it is the fact that I'm supposed to get paid weekly and I have not been paid for 2 weeks... or maybe it's that my boss stated earlier this week that "paying me on time" was "spoiling me."

I know it is royally stupid to blog about your work in a negative way, so I will stop there. Suffice it to say I am in an AWFUL mood.

To make matters worse I have had the period from Hell this week. It's like a higher power (call it what you want: God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddah, KARMA) looked at me and went "What the hell? She's been paid on time for a few weeks and she feels like she COULD be pregnant... what can I do to FUCK with her?!
Oh hahahaha, I will give her the WORST PERIOD of the entire year which will cause her to gain like 5 pounds of bloat and then I'll have her boss NOT pay her for two weeks so she can barely afford to get some fucking toilet paper and pads. Yeah, that'll put her in her place."

I STILL have my period. 6 Days of bleeding so bad that my doctor was thinking perhaps I should come in to get checked out. It's finally getting lighter but, holy crap, I was actually scared for a few days.

Oh people... I need a fucking cupcake or a cookie or an ICE CREAM SODA STAT. Yeah, and ice cream soda sounds really good right now. Except I won't get one... because, you know, I gained a pound this week and I'd feel slightly guilty for knowingly eating crap when I should be working out.

Please excuse my vulgar profanity, I'm really upset. Cursing is good for the soul sometimes, no?

Here are my current stats:
Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4
Current challenge goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 162.2
Today's weigh-in: 163.2
Change: +1

Overall change: -11.2

730 More Days of Infertility, Stretch Marks and Self-Hatred

I typed out the title, read it over and over again, and then I cried.

Every week on The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, we are given a project to help keep us motivated. I think this might be one of the most emotionally difficult projects I've had to do, but I'm glad I did it.

The question posed is: “What would it be like if I just started this journey two years from now?”

That's a pretty loaded question because there are so many reasons why I decided I needed to lose weight RIGHT NOW.

The two pictures, put side by side in this post are what really woke me up to the fact that I was having some problems with my weight. I *knew* that I was overweight, but I hadn't put two and two together and really *seen* how much heavier I had gotten over the past couple of years until I looked at those pictures. It was an awful, heart wrenching experience for me, but I didn't sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself... I decided something needed to be done.

Another thing that woke me up, was standing next to my family (on my mom's side). I know that sounds odd... I'll explain further. They are GORGEOUS people. I'm serious. Every last one of them is good looking... and I'm not just saying that because they're my family. I *used* to be "one of them" in that sense. Now, when I go to get togethers with my health conscious, doctor family full of super models, I feel fat and ugly and awful about myself. I shouldn't, but I do. It is a TERRIBLE feeling.

So... here is the hard part for me. “What would it be like if I just started this journey two years from now?”

I would be heavier. I would probably be A LOT heavier because for some reason I am totally blind to how much weight I gain unless I am looking at pictures of myself. I did not weigh myself until I decided to lose weight, so I would have never bought a scale. I would probably be well over 220 pounds by the time the 2 years was up, as I was already at close to 180 when I started this journey.

The stretch marks that began showing up on my stomach and hips would have increased. My stomach would look like a zebra. I would be absolutely mortified to take my shirt off in front of my husband.

My breast size would have increased, putting further strain on my back. They've already gotten HUGE in the last couple of years with the weight I put on and it is so incredibly uncomfortable for me, both emotionally AND physically. I can barely do the dishes without getting winded and my back hurting because of them. I feel like people are always staring at them and I despise them. They are gross and they make me look like a melted barbie doll when I'm naked. If I had waited two more years to start losing weight, I would probably vomit every time I looked in a mirror.

My family would talk about how heavy I had gotten and they would be incredibly concerned about me. I would know they were talking, either because I have heard them talk about weight gain among other people before, or because they would be concerned enough to talk to me about it directly, which would humiliate me. They would do it out of the goodness of their own heart because it is unhealthy for me and they love me, but I would feel disgusting and like everyone thought of me as the ugly one. Do you know how awful that is? I would be the ONLY overweight person in my family. I would hate myself and my self esteem would become non existent.

My blood pressure would sky rocket. My knees, which already hurt on occassion, would hurt on a consistent basis and I would feel crappy all the time. I would probably have diabetes, which runs in my family (on my dad's side).

Last but not least is the infertility. This is the hardest for me to talk about. This is something that I am already dealing with. My doctor has told me that my difficulties getting pregnant are probably due to being overweight. Undiagnosed infertility. She says that getting myself to a healthy weight will greatly (and I mean GREATLY) increase my chances of conception. She also says that it is difficult to maintain a healthy pregnancy when you're overweight because you run the risk of preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and an increased chance of miscarriage.

If I were to wait two more years to lose weight, if I let myself gain MORE weight over those two years, I would be giving myself two more years of this fucking HELL.

730 more days of tears.

730 more days of hating my body because it can't perform a task that is effortless and often accidental in other women.

730 more days of wondering if my husband secretly resents me for not being able to give him a baby.

730 more days of wondering when it will be MY turn, if I will ever get to hold a baby in my arms, if I will ever know the joy of being a mother, the experience of pregnancy... these things which come so naturally to other women and are a complete mystery to me.

And if what my doctor says is true, and my infertility is solely due to my weight problem, and I waited another 2 years to start this journey...

I would have no one to blame but myself.

This is what would happen if I were to wait 2 more years. I've already waited a year and a half for a baby... there are others who have waited much longer than that, there are some who will wait forever.

I can only hope that by losing the weight NOW, I will get to experience loving myself, inner and outter beauty and motherhood *that much sooner.*

Funky Funk McFunkerson, Put On Your FunkShoooooes

The title? Don't ask. I started typing it out and it just sort of flooooowed idiotically from my finger tips.

I also did a funky dance while I was typing. How fun.

I'm having some issues getting out of this funk I'm in. I think it's hormonal because one minute I am feeling awful about myself and the next I'm busting out disco moves while doing the dishes.


On a positive note, I have lost about 3 pounds in 3 days using the 30 Day Shred. I'm ALMOST into the 150's. This morning, I weighed in at 161.2. I weigh myself every day, which I have heard is not the most mentally healthy thing. However, if I *don't* do it, I get a false sense of security and I engorge myself on fast food. When I weigh myself every day, I am able to see the IMMEDIATE repercussions of bad weight loss decisions.

I will be so happy when I hit 159. I'll shout from the friggin' roof tops when I hit 157. The cool thing about 157 is that, even if I have some water weight, I won't get pushed over into the 160's again. And don't even get me started on hitting 154.4. That will be my 20 pound weight loss milestone. I think I might cry :P.

I promised you all some pictures of my hawt ass and I figured that NOW is the time to post them... BEFORE I lose my courage.

I took these pictures the day before I started the 30 Day Shred, and I'm hoping that there will be a noticeable difference by the time I finish the program.

I do realize that I am not, in fact, obese. I'm slightly overweight and that's not so awful... but there is something incredibly unsettling about looking at pictures of yourself from *all* angles and seeing just how pudgy you have become.

Three years ago, I was a size 7 *on a BAD day* and now I'm a size 12 (10 on a good, non bloated day hehe). That's not fun.

Soooooo, I will stop delaying the inevitable and show you all 360 degrees of my pudge.

Front:

Side:

Back (and yes, my shorts say "100% Wench" Wanna fight about it?):

I think my pudge is the worst in my back. I miss my old, toned back. Hopefully I can get it back soon... pardon the pun har har :::::rolls eyes:::::

I will post updated pictures either
a) after every 10 days, when I progress to the next level of Shred
or
b) after 30 days, when I finish the 30 Day Shred

I'll have to think about that one.

For now, I suppose it's back to the grind. I need to get myself out of this negative thought process I've had for the last day or so. It is seriously mucking up my mojo. :(

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

I felt like a fraud typing "Wednesday Weigh-In!!" in the title bar. It's not that I didn't weigh myself, because I did. Shit, I weigh myself every day. It's the "!!" that makes me feel like I'm lying to you all.

I do not feel "!!" at all. In fact, I feel like I'm about to barf.

I really hope that I don't barf. Barfing terrifies me more than anything. I think I'd honestly rather get a tooth pulled than barf. Ew. :( That being said, I have not thrown up in 10 years. I will deal with immense discomfort in order to keep the chunks from exiting my body. I'm talking guzzling water in the face of nausea and HOLDING THAT SHIT DOWN.

Alright. That's enough of my vomit talk.

I also feel sort of blah. Like I just don't give a shit about anything. It is a very weird feeling for me because I am usually so energetic. At times, I think I might be obnoxiously positive and happy.

Not at the moment.

I should be happy though... I lost some nice poundage this week.

Here are my stats:
Starting weight from Dec. 30th, 2009: 174.4
Current challenge goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 164.6
Today's weigh-in: 162.2
Change: -2.4

Overall change: -12.2

I want to be happy and say "YEEEEAY!!!!!"

But I sort of feel like looping my finger in the air and going "yeay."

Eh.

Wish me luck people, I hate being in funks like this.

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

I'm about .2 pounds away from my original goal weight that I had obtained two weeks ago, and that's down from last week... so I'm happy.
Isn't it amazing that it took me one weekend to gain 2 pounds and 2 weeks to lose it?
That's a great thing to keep in mind when you're downing Tropical Sunrise Margaritas and loaded cheese fries at Chilis. By the way, did I mention how delicious that Tropical Sunrise Margarita was? No? It WAS. It might have even been worth the 2 pounds. Ok, maybe not :::::sigh:::::

Here are my stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
Current 7 week goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 165.8
Today's weigh-in: 164.6
Change: -1.2

Overall change: -9.8

I am so incredibly excited to get down into the 150's. If I can make it to 154 than I can say I lost 20 pounds. Another thing that excites me: I only have 5 pounds to go and I'll be right on the cusp of 160 and 159, that's definitely something to work towards.

By the way, if you have a Trader Joe's in your area, pick up some of their guilt free brownie mix. They're FAT FREE and you just add 2/3 cup of non-fat vanilla yogurt and stick them in the oven... I ate like 4 of them and didn't gain a pound. They were DELICIOUS and they completely cured my sweet tooth.

On a completely unrelated note... you know, since I have the worst ADD known to blogkind: See that button up there? :::::looks up to top of post:::::
The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans is starting a new challenge, and I'm totally down for it. There will be plenty of fun on my blog for the next few weeks. I might even post pictures of me busting my ass for your amusement.

No promises... perverts.

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

Look! It's a picture of the cutest dog in the whole wide world!

Oh Emm Gee... look at that adorable little face. Do you know what those big brown eyes are saying?

"Please nice bloggy readers... please don't smack my mommy upside her fat ol' head because she gained weight this week. Oh, and if you have a spare moment, there are some beggin' bacon strips in the cabinet... sneak me one and I'll love you forever, M'kay? Thanks!"

It's true... I gained weight this week. I didn't gain that much, but it was enough to make me realize that I need some accountability if I'm ever going to keep losing the weight, and then keep it off once it's gone.

At last week's weigh-in I found myself at my goal weight... I was ecstatic. Accomplishing something is a wonderful feeling, isn't it? But as soon as I realized that this was the last weigh-in for the Rethink Your Shrink Challenge over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, I thought "Oh... I reached my goal... it's ok for me to cheat just a little bit this week." This was actually a wrongful realization as I believe the Sisterhood will be starting a new challenge on February 24th. I'm so down for that, by the way!

So anyways...

I cheated...

A lot.

In my defense (yeah right) I had my period all week, so I was craving some seriously fatty foods.

Let's see here... I had carrot cake, Bloomin' Onion, copious amounts of alcohol, ice cream rolled in coconut and topped with fudge and whipped cream, prosciutto paninis with havarti cheese and loads of mayonnaise, plenty of ranch dressing, and McDonalds Deluxe Big Breakfast with a Sausage Burrito. a lot of junk food and I didn't work out as much as I usually do.

Because of my incredible shift in motivation and my pathetic lack of control regarding what I shove into my mouth when I'm not being held accountable by a bunch of internet buddies, I'm going to create another challenge for myself.

I'm going to do another 7 week challenge*... and in that 7 weeks I want to lose another 10 pounds, just like I did on this last challenge. I know it's possible because I've already done it, hooray! :)

Here are my stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
Current 7 week goal: 154

Last weigh-in: 164.4
Today's weigh-in: 165.8
Change: +1.4

Overall change: -8.6

*Entertaining challenge name coming soon to a blog near you... this blog to be exact.

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

See this?


That, my friends, is the great Kilauea; a volcano located on the southeastern flank of Mauna Loa in Hawaii.

Today, because I am feeling like Pele, I am going to stand on that volcano and shout something from its apex.

What?

You expected this Florida-born beach bum to stand on a MOUNTAIN? Nooooo, thank you. This is much more my style.

Where was I?

Ah yes... Pele:

She's beautiful isn't she? The best part of my day? I feel like her. I feel like I could dance inside flames, cause volcanoes to erupt and shake the very foundation of an island...

because I...
:::::steps on top of Kilauea:::::

HAVE REACHED MY GOAL WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right, do a happy Hawaiian fertility dance with me... it's ok, you can join in my celebration!

Here are my stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
7 week goal (I may change this to 8 week): 164.4

Last weigh-in: 166.6
Today's weigh-in: 164.4
Change: -2.2

Overall change: -10

When I got on the scale this morning and realized that I had lost EXACTLY the amount of weight I set out for myself I was shocked, excited, happy.

I feel like I am finally able to control my weight and, you know what? I'm going to keep doing it!

I want to lose another 10 pounds, and then another, until I am back down to the weight I was when I was at my happiest and healthiest.

Unfortunately for me, I never weighed myself when I was at that point, so I don't know of my exact goal... but I remember how I felt and how I looked and that's what is the most important.

I feel great, people.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Pele and I are going to drink a Mai-Tai and dance on top of this volcano for a few hours.

Let's Get Physical: Making Olivia Newton John Proud

It's week five or is it six? I'm not sure of the challenge on The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans and our assignment was to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and try something we've never tried before (pertaining to fitness and health, of course).

This was probably the most difficult project for me. I have a comfort zone and, let me tell you, I love that freaking thing. I've always followed the same *basic* principles when I work out: heavy on the cardio, light on the strength training, heavy on the belly dancing, VERY heavy on the yoga, eat well, sweat my ass off, voila!

Every time I tried to think of something that I hadn't done before, I realized that I HAD done it.

Let's go over the list, shall we?

Biggest Loser DVDs - Check
Yoga - Check
Dance - Check
Treadmill - Check
Gym - Check
Jogging - Check
Sitting on my ass in front of the tv, lifting a weight in one arm, eating pizza with the other, and crying because I can't figure out when I started getting SO DAMN FAT - CHECK!!!!!

Ok, so you can see above that I have tried many things... I was having problems coming up with something FREE I'm one broke babe and new.

It hit me while I was lying in bed next to my husband. I have a tendency to stare at him while he sleeps because I am freaking CREEPY, people because he is absolutely beautiful. You know how, as a woman, 60 thousand different thoughts run through your head in about 10 minutes? I went from thinking he was so gorgeous to thinking about the article I read once about how kissing burns 12 calories per 5 second episode and all of the sudden, my brain went "I wonder how many calories SEX burns?!"

That was it.

I sat straight up in bed and yelled "SEXERCISE!!!!!"

My husband, in turn, sat straight up in bed, startled and ready to beat some intruder's ass and yelled "WHAT HAPPENED?!"

I will spare you the many AWESOME details, but I weighed myself this morning...

and I am down another pound.

If you want to learn more about sexercise, visit this website: eHow: How to Sexercise.

You can Google and get some interesting results, but most of them are sick YouTube videos that made me cringe and look for something else.

So, this week I found that I can lose weight by getting laid.

I'm sorry, but unless you stick a cupcake and a martini in my face and hand me a DVD set of the last few seasons of Sex and the City, I don't think I could get any happier.

Take that, Olivia Newton John!

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

Well, this week didn't bring a monumental weight loss like the first weigh-in, it also wasn't as bad as the week where I gained two pounds back, it just sort of... "was."

Here are my current stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
7 week goal (I may change this to 8 week): 164.4

Last weigh-in: 167.4
Today's weigh-in: 166.6
Change: -.8

Overall change: -7.8

If I were to be completely honest, I would say that I lost a bit of motivation with my cardio workouts. I was experiencing some extreme tension in my neck and shoulder joints and it was sort of bringing me down.
I've always loved yoga, and in an effort to keep a positive and balanced outlook (and also to relieve some of that neck/shoulder tension), I joined Yoga Journal

They have podcasts with a yoga instructor and I've been doing his Morning Wake Up Yoga and Evening Relaxation Yoga and it feels GREAT.

This week, I really plan to kick it up a notch... BAM! :P

I only have 2.2 pounds to go and I'll be at my goal for this challenge!! I would *love* to have that accomplished by next week and I KNOW I CAN DO IT.

I plan on running 5 minutes on the treadmill whenever I can, continuing my yoga (which actually makes me sweat in the morning, believe it or not), upping my cardio workouts and following the healthy eating path I've laid out for myself in the last few weeks.

Wish me luck, ladies and gents! Here's lookin' at next week's weigh in and hitting my goal!

I Wrote a Letter... To Myself

The homework project for this week was to write a letter to yourself.

I didn't want to be a negative _____ (fill in the blank: Nadia, Naomi, Nancy, Nick, Nicole, NUNO?) but this project was the one I looked forward to the least so far.

It's not that I didn't want to take the time to do it, it's just that my goals and what I'd like to accomplish seemed SO FAR OFF that I couldn't picture myself actually doing most of them by 2011.

About 10 minutes ago, it occured to me that I'm not going to get very far thinking like that, am I?

Nope, I'm not.

Sooooo, I've sucked it up and laid out all the things I'd love to have accomplished by 2011 in a nice letter to me :). Enjoy!

Dear Amber,
Hello, it's me(you)! I was going to ask you(me?) how things are going but I don't have to... I already know! Cue the Twilight Zone Music, it's freeeeeeaky!
I wanted to tell you(me) a few things that have happened in the last 365 days, but first I have to ask if I(you) will please stop putting yourself(myself) in parenthesis. It's super annoying.
Good?
Thanks!
First of all, somehow (it's a secret, I can't tell you!) you managed to pay off all $20,000 of your debt. Holy cow, right?! How awesome is that?! You received a promotion at your job and got a HUGE raise, plus your monthly bonus you used to get is back so now you have absolutely NO problems paying the mortgage. It really has been great, having all this financial freedom. And your husband? Yeah, he also got a promotion. Can we say beach vacation? Don't worry, there are plenty of those ahead for you both!
I have to tell you, that we look HOT in 2011! You lost so much weight. I know it was sort of slow in the beginning, but you just loved watching those pounds drop every week so you kept going with your weight loss. You managed a healthy meal plan every week and you exercised and totally ROCKED the Biggest Loser DVDs. I'm happy to announce that, not only have you reached that 30 pound loss, but you toned up and you just look absolutely fabulous! The best part about all of this weight loss is that you FEEL healthy. You don't worry about your health any more and that's such a huge weight off your shoulders, isn't it?
Let us not forget your goal of getting back into dancing. Remember how, in early 2010, you wanted to start dancing professionally again? Well, you did it! You're teaching AND performing to your heart's content and you make LOADS of extra money off of it. Hey, I know that the money isn't what's important to you (at least, not when it comes to dancing har har), but extra cash is NEVER something to scoff at :P. Did I mention that Unmata and The Indigo came to Charlotte and you got to meet Amy Sigil and Rachel Brice?! Holy crap, that was amazing! Your two dance idols all wrapped into one awesome performance. Sweet.
Now that your debts are paid off and you're making lots of money (and lookin' gooooood) there's plenty of time to relax and enjoy life. You and your devilishly handsome husband spend lots of time together doing all the things you love: going to concerts, visiting the beach and planning for your retirement in Hawaii.
Life is awesome... you should stop worrying about everything immediately and just know that all will be well in 2011.
Now go do some cardio!
Love ya!
~~*Amber*~~

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

I mentioned in a previous weigh-in post that, throughout the course of my weight loss journey (about two years), I can't remember ever weighing less than 169.

Well, kids... I have been busting my ass all week for this weigh-in and I'm happy to announce that I'm back down from the weight I gained last week while my brother and his girlfriend were in town.

Here are my stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
7 week goal (I may change this to 8 week): 164.4

Last weigh-in: 170.0
Today's weigh-in: 167.4
Change: -2.6

Overall change: -7

Here's what I've been doing differently:
1) I NEVER skip meals. I will eat breakfast even if I'm not hungry. That way I don't binge at lunch.
2) For lunch I've been having slices of cucumber and raw broccoli florets. I'll dip the cucumber in tzatziki (Greek Yogurt) and the broccoli florets in this AWESOME Light Asian Toasted Sesame reduced fat dressing from KRAFT. It sounds boring, and it sort of is, but it is the most delicious boring I've eaten so far. :)
3) I've increased my work out. In the mornings I do an INTENSE bellydance session where I dance, non stop, from 8:00 until 9:00. In the evenings I do the Biggest Loser Cardio Max DVD with the BFF on Skype. I just got upgraded to the next workout level on that DVD, so it's a bit more intense.
4) Remember last week when I was starting to tolerate green tea? Well, now I LOVE it! Seriously, no sugar or anything added, just on its own I've managed to learn to love it :). If I've eaten recently, and I start to feel hungry, I chug down a warm glass of green tea and that cures my hunger for the time being.
5) I've also discovered Trader Joe's Organic Cranberry Green Tea which is absolutely DELICIOUS. Again, no sugar added. For a while I was adding whole milk to it, but that's a no-no and I've stopped. Whenever I crave something *sweet* I drink this and that usually helps.

I've only got three pounds left and then I've reached my goal! Wish me luck for next week! :)

Why I'm Totally Rad: An Online Report By Yours Truly

Every week on The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans we are given homework a project by the Gods and Goddesses of weight loss themselves :).

Last week was our inspiration/motivation board. Remember that post? It's the one where I bawl like a psycho and hate on myself?

No?

Click HERE to read it.

The project for this week is to list 5 reasons why we rock.

I think it's pretty obvious, with my mad shredding guitar capabilities, that I totally rock.

See?


What are you laughing at?! I know I was 19 and a total Goth, but I was so freaking cool back then. And look how cool and angry I was, rocking the Rogue X-Men Hair Streaks! Man, I freaking ruled.

Because I don't want to seem like I'm stating the obvious (that I rock, duh), I'm going to list five reasons why I'm RAD. I think one of those five reasons should be that I'm humble, but I don't want to waste one of my five on something so obvious.

You know I'm kidding, right? I hope so.

I thought long and hard about these, so it is with sincere hope that you all find me as rad as I do. Otherwise I'm just going to look like a complete jack ass.

Wait...

I think I've already accomplished that with this post.

Enough rambling!!

REASONS WHY I'M RAD:

1) It only took me two weeks to single handedly convince my brain that it craved green tea (which I TOTALLY hated) as opposed to Dr. Pepper (which I TOTALLY loved). I can now truly state that I actually *love* green tea. Seriously, check my purse, there are Green Tea Mints from Trader Joes in there.

2) I have belly danced professionally (wait, it gets better)...

with snakes...

near fire.

RAD

3) Ask me ANYTHING about orcas, dolphins, belly dance, guitars, serial killers, and French Sangreal conspiracies and I can almost guarantee that I'll be able to bore you to tears with extensive dictionary-like knowledge.

4) I finally feel alright about the hot chick staring at me on my motivational board because I realize that it's not who I used to be... it is who I am. The girl on that board is me... just a few years ago. I only need to tap into what I already know can be accomplished (a little weight loss and healthy lifestyle choices) and I can have her back physically AND mentally. I can't wait to see her/me again!

5) I'm smart.

It's true that I have a very bubbly personality and I think I come off as a ditz, A LOT. My areas of knowledge might not be considered important to most people. I have absolutely no concept of geography. I couldn't even begin to tell you where most of the 50 states are on a map, but when I become interested in something I make it a point to really research it. I could probably write a book on the 7 or 8 things that I'm fascinated by, and I enjoy knowing that they are not "normal" areas of expertise. I'm not smart like Bill Gates or smart like Stephen Hawkings. I prefer to think that I'm smart like Albert Einstein who, in an attempt to gain as much knowledge in his field as possible, refused to memorize basic information like his address or phone number because he didn't want to store things in his brain that he knew he could just look up. I don't clutter my brain with the knowledge of things I'll never use. I clutter it with the knowledge of things that I enjoy learning about.

That's why I'm rad. I love that I'm happy with myself. I was unhappy with myself for YEARS and that is a truly awful feeling.

Why are YOU happy with YOURSELF? Why do YOU rock? Please tell me in my comments or post your own "Why I rock / Why I'm rad" post so I can see :).

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

Ummmmm....

....

I'm just going to get right to the point and say it.

I ate like a FREAKING PIG for almost an entire week. My brother and his girlfriend flew in on Thursday and stayed with us until Tuesday. It was, quite possibly, the most fun EVER.

We got incredibly drunk on Saturday night... or was it Friday? I can't even remember! I will be posting pictures soon. To say they are funny is a gross understatement :P.

I got on the scale expecting to see that my weight had gone up. It did. I was expecting a number like 5 freaking million pounds 172 and I got 170. Not as bad as I thought it would be.

Here are my stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
7 week goal (I may change this to 8 week): 164.4

Last weigh-in: 168.2
Today's weigh-in: 170.0
Change: +1.8

Overall change: -4.4

I'll be good this week, I think promise!!

Wednesday Weigh-In!!

I can't believe it's already time for another Wednesday Weigh-In. It seems like it was just a few hours ago that I was all stoked to be writing about my first 3.4 pounds lost.

Aw, memories.

A few highlights from the last week:

1) I have finally gotten myself to tolerate enjoy warm, green tea.

About 4 weeks ago, I would have made a gross vomit face at you and acted as if you were asking me to pork some old fogey, had you put a glass of green tea in front of my face. I really wanted to incorporate this flavorless crap beneficial drink into my diet... not only because of it's not FDA approved weight loss benefits, but also because it supposedly not FDA approved increases the amount of fertile cervical mucous and, well... I want a freaking baby.

I started by making a pot of tea and putting it in the fridge in a pretty bodum (you know, I actually had to Google the word bodum because I was going to call it a vase :::::snort:::::). That, at least, made it appealing to my eyes. The other purpose in refridgerating it has to do with the fact that it can be 18 degrees outside, and as long as it's not my *morning coffee,* I do not enjoy drinking anything warm. I like *all* my drinks iced.

Without making this a novel about my gradual and slow moving love affair with tea, I'll just finish by saying that I actually enjoyed my first cup of WARM tea last night. And the fact that it's green tea doesn't even bother me anymore. :::::GASP:::::.

2) I ate an entire pizza last week. You hear me?! AN ENTIRE MEDIUM PIZZA (ok, minus ONE slice) ALL BY MYSELF... in one night. I usually allow myself a cheat here and there so I don't go on a binge, but eating an entire medium pizza by yourself is just absolutely delicious, filling, and the best thing I have done all freaking week ridiculous.

That being said, I made sure to do an extra workout here and there to balance myself out, and I still have not had any soda. I've lost track but I think it's been about 2 weeks. I'm starting to get to the point where I'm only missing it a little.

This morning, I expected to get on the scale and be at about 170.

I jumped up and down and sang a song about my boobs getting smaller while simultaneously shedding a few happy tears was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning and found that I had lost another 2.8 pounds!

Here are my new stats:
Starting weight: 174.4
7 week goal (I may change this to 8 week): 164.4

Last weigh-in: 171
Today's weigh-in: 168.2
Change: -2.8

Overall change: -6.2

This is the FIRST time I have been under 169 since I began having weight issues :). Yippeeeee!!

One more thing before I go! Those 2 pictures of my hot body previous to gaining about 40 pounds that I stuck up on the inspiration board and glared at while crying hysterically like a psycho? They are actually starting to HELP me. I look at those every day and say "I WILL have that body again."